Joe Climbs Pikes Peak!
posted on September 16th, 2008 by Joe
Every once in a while, for no apparent reason, some people question whether I am indeed a badass. I don’t know what drives them to this conclusion; jealousy, perhaps. Maybe it’s my slouch-ish attitude, or my documented fascination with napping. In any event, from time to time some people have questioned whether I am a badass.
And so it was that in August 2008, I climbed to the top of Pikes Peak. Again. This the second time I’ve done it.
Let’s be clear about two things. First, climbing Pikes Peak is retarded. It’s just retarded. The trail is thirteen miles long. The hike takes two days. The elevation gain is 7400 feet; that’s about a mile and a half, vertical. And at the top, at fourteen thousand one hundred ten feet, it’s hard to even breathe. And you do all this with a backpack. That’s just retarded. There’s no other word to describe it.
But second, let’s be clear about something else: If you climb to the top of Pikes Peak, you are a badass. You’re retarded, for sure, but you are a retarded badass, and that makes all the difference in the world.
Joining me this year on the Expedition were five other intrepid heroes seeking, as I was, to prove themselves both badass and retarded: Tom, Tim, Casey, Stacey and Rae. Here’s a photo of the expeditionary force (note the grizzled captain there on the far right):
At dawn on Saturday, August 23 (ok… more like ten a.m. or so, after getting some McDonald’s), the Expedition sallied forth from Manitou Springs, Colorado, nestled in the shadow of the looming monster that is Pikes Peak. (Even the name Pikes Peak sounds ominous, doesn’t it?) We hiked scaled the gradually steeply ascending path, arriving at Barr Camp, at 10,800 feet, where we camped for the night with some other normal people mountaineers. On Sunday afternoon, we intrepid heroes reached the 14,110 foot summit, where we ate donuts. (Not kidding.)
This an epic adventure. The trail begins by climbing through the amazing Pike National Forest, but when it breaks the treeline, just a few miles from the summit, you discover a whole new planet. One minute, you’re in the forest, just minding your own business, listening to birds chirping. The next, you’re overlooking the world. As you sit on the trail, watching clouds roll over the rocky tundra, you think to yourself: This is retarded.
And, of course, badass.
[Editor's Note: Eileen wants me to point out that she has climbed Pikes Peak six times, and has also climbed more than a dozen other fourteen thousand foot peaks, including two of them in the same day. But she's a showoff.]
[Editor's Note: More pictures of this and other adventures can be found in the Photo Album, which is password-protected. If you are a friend of ours, please email us and request a password!]