Baby’s First Month
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About a month ago, my serene existence here at Joe and Eileen’s house ended abruptly when they arrived home from the hospital with a “baby”. Since then, I’ve basically been shafted. They never pay attention to me anymore, and when they do, it’s to remind me to stay away from this “baby” thing. Whatever. This is my house. Joe and Eileen are lucky I let them stay here in the first place.
I’ll be perfectly honest with you. I don’t understand what all the fuss is about. When I was one month old, I was walking. Seriously. In my opinion, this “baby” is largely unimpressive. But enough about me. Like the other humans who have come to visit recently, you’re probably more interested in the “baby” than you are in me. Fine.
(At left: Darth Vader meets the baby. Joe supervises.)
Baby Nick is doing great. He’s eating like a champ — eight times a day — and when he’s not eating he’s sleeping, usually more than 18 hours. (In that respect, he’s a lot like me.) When he’s awake, he kicks his legs and moves his arms around like he’s swimming, or punching an imaginary foe. He looks around the room, moves his head side to side, and quickly falls back to sleep from exhaustion. That’s basically it.
There’s little doubt that Nick is the most adorable baby in the five billion year history of the world. What’s remarkable, given Joe’s temperament, is that Nick is also the easiest baby in the history of the world. The kid never cries. I’m not exaggerating here. In the last month, he has cried for a combined total of roughly two hours. Total. Whatever genetic code is making that happen, it didn’t come from Joe’s side of the family, trust me.
(At left: Nicholas sticks his tongue out at Joe. The first of many such incidents.)
Eileen is doing great, too. She has another two weeks off from work, and she’s keeping up with Nick beautifully. The two of them fall asleep together on the couch, and spend their nights watching TiVo. (Nick has become a huge fan of Dancing with the Stars.)
Joe is helping out where he can. But let’s be honest here; without a functioning bosom, there isn’t much he can do aside from taking naps. In fact, Joe and Nick sleep exactly the same way: arms up, head tilted to the side. Check this out:
(At left: Joe and Nick take a nap.)
Well, that’s the update for now. Eat, sleep, poop. Repeat.
[More pictures of Nicholas can be found in the Photo Album, which is password-protected. If you are a friend of ours, please email us and request a password!]